Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Sylar:
yes, dear?
Me:
What did you say?
Sylar:
Do you prefer something else? Like honey?
Me:
No. I have an idea, let’s not get married!
Sylar:
Yeah, instead of getting married ...
Me:
(Starting to smile at the idea of not getting married)
Sylar:
Let’s elope! It’s so much quicker!
Me:
What. -_-
Sylar:
(Smiles) Be right back (Teleports out)
Me:
(Feeling faint, talking to myself) Okay, breathe in, breathe out. (takes out
phone, looking through contact list) Claire? No. Peter? No. They’re all too ...
weird right now to talk to.
Sylar:
(Teleports back) I’M BACK! Miss me?
Me:
(softly groans, fake smile) Where have you been?
Sylar:
Getting you this (takes out a box, opens it, a diamond ring sparkles through).
Me:
(A bit distracted) uh ... I feel like (a little woozy, but still in a state of
awe)
Sylar:
Here (takes out a bottle of water) have some water.
(...)
Me:
(Waking up, sigh of relief) oh thank God, it was all a dream. (opens eyes,
looking around the room) where am I?
Sylar:
(Bringing in a tray with food) Good morning!
Me:
(looks down at hand, diamond ring on ring finger) OH MY ... (looks around room)
OH MY ... (slams head back into pillows) this is a nightmare.
Sylar:
Remember yesterday? It was the day we both said our “I Do’s.”
Me:
(rubs eyes) No, I don’t remember.
Sylar:
Well here are the pictures! (Shows me the pictures. Some of me really excited,
a couple of Sylar putting the ring on my finger, pictures of me signing the marriage
certificate and finally a kiss.)
Me:
(I look at a picture of myself in a gorgeous wedding dress) where did this
dress come from?
Sylar:
You picked it out remember? At Kleinfelds? You said you wanted something sleek,
and something with a modern-vintagey feel. It was quite the dress.
Me:
That does sound like something I would say. (The wedding dress hanging in front
of the closet catches my eyes, continues staring)
Sylar:
Well we have lots to do today Mrs. Sylar, have to tell our friends we got
married. (kisses my forehead, teleports somewhere)
Me:
(snaps out of staring at the dress) OH MY GOD...I’M MARRIED.
Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Me:
(Talking to myself in the park I’d always go to) Okay, so I have to tell him
that this marriage won’t work. We need to get divorced.
Sylar:
(talking to Peter and Claire) so guess what?
Me:
(Sees all three of them. Hides behind a tree, listening to them secretly)
Sylar:
She totally believes we’re married. She saw the fake photos of us and freaked. This
is actually really mean, but probably the funniest practical joke ever. How did
you even think of this Peter?
Peter:
It just came to me.
Claire:
(Crossing her arms) I can’t believe I’m going along with this. I can’t believe
YOU (Looks at Sylar) are going along with this. I mean, just because she
accidently spilled milkshake over you, Peter, doesn’t mean you have to be so
immature about it.
Peter:
(in a whiny, child like voice) It wasn’t an accident!
Me:
(Teleports back to the bedroom) WHAT THE...
Sylar:
(teleports back) Hey honey.
Me:
(Thinking about freezing time...everything stops moving. I begin talking to
myself.) What should I do? (Walks around a frozen Sylar) Fine. You want a wife?
I’ll give you a wife. (Goes back to original spot, thinks about unfreezing
time) hi sweetie. Where have you been? I missed you (pouts)
Sylar:
(taken aback by what I said) uh...
Me:
(Hugs him) and when’s the honeymoon? I hope we go somewhere warm.
Sylar:
(sits down on the bed in confusion)
Me:
(Sits beside him, holds his hand) So ... (places my head on his shoulder) how’d
you sleep last night?
Sylar:
(still confused) fine.
Me:
I had a great dream. I dreamed that PETER PUT YOU UP TO MAKING ME BELIEVE WE
WERE ACTUALLY MARRIED.
Sylar:
Oh my gosh. You were there listening. Weren’t you?
Me:
(Let’s go of his hand, stands up) WELL DUH.
Sylar:
(sighs really hard) THANK YOU. Now we don’t have to play this charade anymore.
Now that you know, I can tell Peter that it’s all off.
Me:
(Grabs his arm, preventing him from leaving) No, wait. I have a better idea.
Sylar:
(Sighs) I know what you’re thinking, I can read your mind you know. So fine,
we’ll do that then.
Me:
(Smiles) YAY! (hugs him) BEST FAKE HUSBAND EVER! (He smiles)
Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Sylar:
(sees Claire and Peter, softly nudges me, he takes my hand) yes, sweetie?
(Claire
and Peter perk up)
Me:
Do you see who I see?
Sylar:
Of course! It’s Claire and...
Me:
Peter!
(Claire
and Peter turn around)
Me:
hey guys! Guess what? Sylar and I are now happily...
Sylar:
MARRIED!
Peter:
(Eyes widen) Well ... that’s... great news!
Me:
Claire, I’ll always be eternally grateful to you for telling me to propose to him.
Best idea...
Sylar:
Ever!
Claire:
(Looks elsewhere) and you guys finish each other’s sentences.
Me:
So guess what?
Peter:
What?
Me:
Sylar and I were thinking that when we have kids (Peter and Claire’s jaws
lightly drop) that you would be their godparents? (their jaws drop a little
more)
Sylar:
(smiles) please?
Claire:
Sure...
Nicole:
(super excited) yay! (smiles at Sylar)
Sylar:
This is really exciting (all of a sudden, kisses me)
Peter:
OKAY I GIVE UP. NICOLE, YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO HIM. YOU CANNOT HAVE HIS KIDS.
YOU WERE MISERABLE AT THE THOUGHT OF MARRYING HIM
Me:
(Melts inside from the kiss, hides a smile, still playing the charade) oh, I
suppose I was just hiding my excitement. I’m so glad I’m married to the most
wonderful man.
Peter:
NO YOU ARE NOT. THIS IS JUST A PRACTICAL JOKE. SYLAR. TELL HER.
Sylar:
But we are married Peter. You saw the pictures and everything.
Claire:
(jaw is now fully dropped)
Peter:
THE FAKE PICTURES!
Sylar:
(Looks at his watch) Hon, we have to get going. Peter, Claire, we’ll see you in
a few days after the honeymoon.
Peter
and Claire: HONEYMOON?!
Me:
Bye! (Sylar and I secretly teleport behind a secluded area, listening to Claire
and Peter)
Peter:
Claire. This is bad.
Claire:
They’re going on their honeymoon, they’re having kids. I have to sit down (sits
on a bench) It has to be a joke.
Peter:
It can’t be. Did you see that kiss? Only people who are truly in love kiss like
that.
Claire:
what do we do?
Peter:
Kill their marriage.
Claire:
how?
Peter:
Kill Nicole?
Peter!
Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter!
Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter!
Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter!
Peter:
I’M JOKING.
Claire:
Okay, that actually sounded like you were going to go through with killing
Nicole just so that their marriage would end.
Peter:
What should we do?
(Sylar
and I are still in a secluded area listening to Claire and Peter)
Sylar:
They’re going to try to break us up.
Me:
of course. We should probably go, just in case they start looking for us.
Sylar:
Where do you want to go?
Me:
Hmm... anywhere that’s warm, private, but has lots of space.
(meanwhile
...)
Peter:
We could get them to fight a lot?
Claire:
Nah. They won’t fight. We could get them to cheat on each other?
Peter:
Nicole cheating on Sylar? Don’t make me laugh (crosses his arms)
Claire:
Let’s just go and find them, and convince them that this isn’t right.
Peter:
Okay, fine. (holds Claire’s arm, teleports out)
(Later
that day ... )
Me:
Having super powers is great. (Looking at the newly “built” mansion on the
“island”)
Sylar:
It sure is. Who knew we could create land, huh?
Me:
And the mansion too, which took us less than 10 minutes to create. Why did we
spend 9 minutes arguing over the design anyways?
Sylar:
You like vintage. I like modern.
Me:
No ... I like modern AND vintage. GOSH. You just don’t listen, do you?
Sylar:
(sighs) here we go ...
Me:
(laughs) we’re a great fake married couple, aren’t we?
Sylar:
We sure are. Let’s go in.
Me:
Wait. (Snaps, does a quick change into a swimsuit, cover up, and sandals) that’s
more like it. I can’t stand this heat in jeans.
Sylar:
Good idea (snaps his fingers, changes into board shorts and a t-shirt that says
“just married”) Let’s go!
(A
couple minutes pass by, the phone rings)
Sylar:
(Picks up the phone) Hello?
Peter:
(on the other line) Sylar? Where are you? I need to see you urgently.
Sylar:
I’m on my honeymoon (smiles at me), Peter.
Peter:
It’s really urgent
Sylar:
Fine. I’m on a little island I made for my wife, come and teleport in. (hangs
up) They’re coming.
Me:
Time to be disgustingly in love.
Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!
Sylar:
(speaks loud enough for Peter and Claire to hear) Yes, sweetie? (appears in a
“just married” robe)
Me:
Peter and Claire are here, dear.
Sylar:
So what was so urgent that you needed to come here? (puts his arm around me)
Peter:
Claire and I made a huge mistake.
Me:
What kind of mistake?
Claire:
For daring you to marry Sylar and for actually kind of making you freak out
about the whole thing. We’re absolutely sorry about it. (jabs Peter in the arm)
Peter:
Truly, truly, sorry. You guys are not meant to be together.
Me:
(takes Peter and Claire’s hands) apology accepted... but we’re not getting a
divorce!
Peter:
OH. MY. GOSH. THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING.
CLAIRE HELP ME WITH THIS.
Claire:
(rubbing her forehead) Peter’s right.
Peter:
THIS IS FAKE. THIS MARRIAGE IS FAKE. EVERYTHING THAT HAS COME BETWEEN YOU OVER
THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS HAS BEEN ...
Me:
(stops both of them) Peter, Claire, we’re not getting a divorce (Peter attempts
to say something) because you’re right! We don’t need a divorce when we never
got married in the first place.
Peter:
(calms down, looks at me, then at Sylar, and then back at me) wait. What?
(looks at Sylar) she knew? (Sylar nods) WHAT?!
Me:
(shrugs and smirks at Peter and Claire) you guys actually thought I would get
married to Sylar? You guys actually thought that I might have kids with Sylar?
Claire:
well, yeah. I mean, we saw the way he kissed you. We swear we thought that he
was in love with you.
Sylar:
uh ... (smirks) I must be a better actor than I thought.
Me:
(takes off the wedding ring, gives it to Sylar) here, I won’t need this
anymore.
Sylar:
Okay. (takes ring, gets on one knee, takes my hand) Nicole, from the first day
that we met, I knew that we’d have a really amazing relationship ...
Me:
(eyes widen) uh ... what are you doing?
Sylar:
(continues in spite of the looks of shock coming from Peter, Claire, and me) we
have blossomed into this beautiful relationship that I don’t dare to ever
leave. From this moment on, I promise to love you for eternity, and with the
powers we have, I literally mean eternity. Nicole, will you marry me?
Me:
Uh ... (looks at Sylar, Peter, and Claire) no...
Sylar:
(looks at me for a few seconds) Good. (stands up, holds the ring, nonchalantly
changes the subject) anyone want a margarita?
Me:
(breathes a sigh of relief) holy. Don’t scare me like that ever again. (Claire
walks beside me as we enter the house together, leaving Sylar and Peter alone
outside)
Peter:
Wow. What a proposal. You didn’t mean it, right?
Sylar:
(looks at the ring, smiles) sure.
The
End.
