Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Sylar Short Stories: March 11, 10, 8, 5

Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!

Sylar: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE PAST WEEK?! I WAS ACTUALLY GETTING WORRIED.

Me: (Shocked) Worried? ABOUT ME?!

Sylar: uh YEAH! And why are you so tanned?

Me: (Begins) Well I went to...

Sylar: YOU GOT A SPRAY TAN! WOW IT’S SO NICE!

Me: NO! I went to...

Sylar: YOU USED A TANNING BED!

Me: NO! Those are bad for you. WHY WON’T YOU LET ME FINISH?!

Sylar: (Thinking...) if that’s not it...Let me think for a second.

(Leaves him to think about it, goes into a coffee house to grab something to drink)
Sylar: (Turns around) I KNOW WHERE YOU WENT! Hey! (Looks around for me) WHERE’D YOU GO?! Nicole? Hey! NICOLE! (Looks behind a tree)

Me: (Inside the coffee house) WOOOW... (Cashier looks at where I’m looking)

Cashier: What is he doing?

Me: I think he’s looking for me?

Cashier: Here are your drinks! Have a nice day!

Sylar: (Doesn’t notice me) NOO! I’VE LOST HER AGAIN! THE MADNESS!

Me: Dude. What are you doing?

Sylar: (Blinks) I...um...dropped my...um...KEYS!

Me: (Looks at him) here, I got you a drink. (Hands it to him) So have you figured it out yet?

Sylar: Figured out what?

Me: MY tan?

Sylar: (Absolutely and completely serious) WHOA! YOU GOT SO TANNED! HOW DID YOU TAN? Did you get a spray tan?

Me: -_-

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Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!

Sylar: (Intimidating voice and stare) you wanna play a game?

Me: (Wide eyes) okay...it depends what it is...

Sylar: (Walks up super close to me) staring contest.

Me: (backs away a bit) okay...

(for 10 seconds neither of us blink)

Sylar: There’s a spider on your arm!

Me: (Jumps and brushes off arms, blinking like mad) OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH GET IT OFF GET IT OFF.

Sylar: MAHAHA! I WIN!

Me: HEY! NO FAIR!

Sylar: Fine...one more time.

(15 seconds go by, neither of us blinking)

Me: (Eyes glance behind him, smiles)

Sylar: (not blinking) what?! Is there a spider? WELL I’M NOT GOINGTO FALL FOR IT.

Me: (not blinking) it’s not a spider. Someone is going to come up behind you and...

Sylar: NOPE! NOT FALLING FOR IT.

(Person comes up closer, I see that it’s Peter, he puts his finger to his mouth, I blink)

Sylar: HAH! I WIN! WOOP WOOOP! (Peter taps his shoulder, Sylar turns around)

Peter: (gives Sylar a pie to his face, runs away laughing) THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR RUINING MY ART PROJECT!

Me: Can’t say I didn’t warn you!

Sylar: (licking the whip cream around his mouth) -_-

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Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!

Me: WHERE ARE YOU!? (Sees him off to the distance with a bunch of adults and children) Uh oh... (Walks up to him)

Sylar: (singing) happy birthday dear Timmy! Happy Birthday to you! (Claps with the adults while the children cheer)

Me: (nudges him) what are you doing?!

Sylar: (Pulls me off to the side) I’m trying to score some free cake!

Me: (scoffs) really? Okay then. (Sits close to the table)

Parent: So who’s your kid? (hands Sylar a huge piece of cake)

Sylar: Oh, just little Randy over there. (Stuffs a big piece of cake in his mouth)

Parent: Randy? There’s no Randy at this party... HEY! WHO ARE YOU?!

Sylar: Did I say Randy? I meant Candy! No...Mandy! um...um...(Parents closing in on him)

Kid: (walking towards me with cake) hey! You want some cake?

Me: Sure (takes cake from him) Thanks!

Kid: No problem. My party was pretty boring until this crazy guy showed up looking for cake. This is just good entertainment!

Sylar: AHHHH!!! (runs away while the parents chase him)

Me: (eats cake and we both watch Sylar run away) you can say that again.

Sylar: (runs behind me and steals my cake) MAHAHAHA!

Me: -_-

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Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!

Sylar: MAHAHA! I’VE MASTERED THE ZORRO THING!

Me: (Looks at the tree, many Z’s marked into it and a couple S’s) nice! Let’s see!

Sylar: (Arm comes up and index finger points out, he makes the Z on the tree, grins)

Me: (confused. Cocks head to the side) did you hear that when you made that mark in the tree?

Sylar: (Looks at me) what noise?

Me: Make the Z again.

Sylar: (He does, and there is a high screeching sound) HUH! I’ve never noticed that!

Me: (cocks head to the other side) slice something else!

Sylar: (He does, the screeching sound is made again) WHERE IS THAT COMING FROM?! (He keeps slicing random things whilst people stare at him)

Me: OH MY GOSH! YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SOUND EFFECT!

Sylar: (Brightens up with a huge smile) that’s so true! I wonder if the “others” have a sound effect! (Calls up Hiro)

Hiro: YOU’RE RIGHT! I DO HAVE A SOUND EFFECT! (Teleports somewhere, we hear a sound effect, comes back) YATTA!

Me: (Pretends to be sad, sniffs) I want a sound effect. (Pout)

(Sylar and Hiro look at each other, shrugs, and Hiro continues teleporting back and forth and Sylar keeps slicing things, their sound effects keep going)

Me: -_- Wow.

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