Thursday, January 28, 2010

Sylar Short Stories: January 22 - 17, 2010

Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!

Sylar: I’M BUSY AT THE MOMENT! (On the couch watching Finding Nemo, currently paused)

Me: (scoffs) really? Doing what?

Sylar: I can’t say Ah-nem-ee-on-ee! (rewinds, presses play, the part where Nemo has trouble saying anemone)

Me: OH! You honestly can’t say it? Anemone?

Sylar: AMENOENEE! AHNOMNEE!

Me: (slowly) Ah...nem...oh...nee!

Sylar: ah-nom-nom-nee...GARGH! (Mouthing the words, thinking) An M&M ee?

Me: (hits my forehead in frustration) this is just like the time where my friend can’t pronounce synonym

Sylar: That’s easy to say! Syn-nom-min.

Me: This is going to take a while. (Sits down on his couch, presses play to continue watching finding Nemo)

Sylar: CINNAMON and AN M&M E!

Me: -_-

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Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!

Sylar: (Gives a bear hug) I CAN’T TALK NOW. I’m busy

Me: Wait just one moment! Why did you just randomly hug me?

Sylar: (hugs a random person) because it’s national hug day and if I don’t, something bad will happen to me.

Me: Says who?

Sylar: Claire! And when I didn’t hug her, I tripped and fell down the stairs!

Me: So you’re going to hug no matter what? (Sylar nods, I smile an evil grin)

(10 minutes later)

Me: HEY SYLAR!

Sylar: (goes wide eyed) I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Me: Yes, I know. Here are some people you can hug!

(I stand aside to reveal StephJP, Jeslil, Ziggyeor, Gayle, DestinyRaven, Lisa M, One_of_jennifer, and Steffigoosie grinning ear to ear, near to the point of fainting)

Sylar: Fine. Come on girls, one by one please. (gives each fan a bear hug)

(Each fan squeals after the hug)

Me: (takes in a deep breath) GROUP HUG! (looks at Sylar, fan girls all ready to hug him again)

(We all walk to Sylar who is backing away)

Sylar: NO MORE HUGS! AHHHHH!!!

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SyLARR! SyLARR! SyLARR! *COUGH*

Sylar: Jeez, what happened to you.

Me: (Miserably) I’m sick.

Sylar: (Dramatically) MAH HAH! THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!

Me: Wait. What do you mean? (Sylar leaves)

(10 minutes later)

Sylar: Here! I brought you some chicken soup.

Me: (Coughs) thanks! And now I see what you mean by the tables have turned!

Sylar: (Leans in closer, whispers) OH! And by the way

Me: (smiles, hoping to hear “You’re cute”)

Sylar: You’re

Me: (Leaning in more, grinning from ear to ear)

Sylar: Going to need to pay me back.

Me: -_-

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Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!

Sylar: WHAT?!

Me: (distressed) HELP ME!

Sylar: Okay! Give me a minute! (Flies out of my house, comes back dressed as Indiana Jones)

Me: What are you doing?

Sylar: (Starts singing the theme song) I’m going to save you!

Me: But I don’t need sav...oh, whatever. Continue

Sylar: (Jumps over my couch, runs out the door, gets into my tree in the backyard, takes out his whip and swings to crash through the window, falls on his butt.) Ouch. (Stands up) TIME FOR SOME BUTT KICKING! I’M HERE TO SAVE YOU! What’s your problem?

Me: (seriously) I had extra pie and I couldn’t finish it.

Sylar: AH HAH! A PROBLEM I CAN FIX WITH A FORK!

Me: (clasps hands together, says dramatically) My hero! *Rolls eyes*

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Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!

Sylar: WE CAN’T GO TO THE PARK TODAY! I HAVE A DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT! COME WITH ME!

Me: (Brightens up) Are you sure? Isn’t it going to be a bit weird?

Sylar: (Thinks about it) No...It’s just a yearly check up.

(Drives to the doctor’s building, checks in, Sylar gets called)

(We both enter the room, I look around, on the walls are pictures of clowns, elephants, teddy bears)

Me: Um...Sylar? Is your doctor a paediatr...

Doctor: (Super enthusiastic) Hi Gabriel! How are you today?

Me: (mouthing) Gabriel?

Sylar: Hello doctor sunshine! (huge grin) I’m absolutely ready for the check up!

Doctor: Okay Gabriel, you know the drill, on the table and shirt off.

Me: Eep! (Sylar and Dr. Sunshine look at me) sorry, I have um...a bit of phlegm in my throat. (Sylar takes of his shirt, I literally try to hide my giggling)

Doctor: (takes a Popsicle stick, walks towards him) and the victim says?

Sylar: (opens his mouth) AHHHH.

Me: (Awkwardly sitting in the corner) So Doctor Sunshine, how long have you been Sylar’s, I mean Gabriel’s, paediatrician?

Doctor: Since he was five, I believe! Okay deep breaths Gabriel.

Me: (In awe at how beautiful he breathes)

(couple minutes pass by and the appointment is over)

Doctor: Would you like a lollipop or a sticker Gabriel?

Sylar: LOLLIPOP! NO! STICKER!! LOLLIPOP!

(We leave)

Me: So why do you still go to a paediatrician when you can heal?

Sylar: Because she’s AWESOME! And she gives me a choice between lollipops and stickers.

Me: -_-

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Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar! Sylar!

Sylar: WHAT?!

Me: (Standing in his foyer) are you ready to go see the movie yet? We’re going to be late if you don’t hurry.

Sylar: (Scoffs) HAH! I’m always ready. When does the movie start?

Me: In about 20 minutes.

Sylar: (Checks his watch) Let’s go. (Opens the door. Stops) Wait, I forgot my house keys.

Me: (Waits for him to get them from the kitchen) Good?

Sylar: (Nodding) Yes. (We exit, he closes and locks the door. He stops.) Wait, I forgot my wallet.

Me: (Sighs) Hurry up.

Sylar: (unlocks the door and takes five minutes to get his wallet, comes out) okay. Let’s go (starts walking) NO WAIT! I left my oven on!

Me: DUDE! SERIOUSLY? And you said you (in a mocking tone) “are always ready.” Come on Sylar! You have to get your act together! I mean honestly, you are a serial killer and you are so disorganized! JEEZ LOUISE!

Sylar: (Bursts into laughter)

Me: (serious tone) what is so funny?

Sylar: I was kidding about the oven being on, and I had my wallet and my keys in my pocket the whole time! I was just seeing how long it would take to bug you!

Me: -_- That’s mean. (Sniffles, starts to tear up, turn around, whimper tone) you made me yell at you for no reason.

Sylar: Oh, I’m so sorry Nicole. I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry!!! Please forgive me!

Me: (Turns around) AH HAH! (Wipes away forced tears) That took you 3 SECONDS!

Sylar: -_-

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